If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
