actually, I'm a sock model
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
