all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm getting married
To pizza
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
