hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
