Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
