what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
its not stalking. its research.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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