this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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