question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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