I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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