Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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