so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
