the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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