PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
barbara walters just said penis...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
