he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
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With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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