Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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