Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
