i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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