:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
