He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
