Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
