we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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