Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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