I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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