no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
