So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
