I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
