well you can't waste a boner
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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