ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
