I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
