I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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