my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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