your room smells of hookers.
And success
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
