He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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