smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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