ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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