WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
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It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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