If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The best revenge is premature balding
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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