I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
