driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
