I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
