If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
