it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
