this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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