i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
