i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
