Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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