Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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