awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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