where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
