JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
