is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
