My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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