I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
