Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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