she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize