we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
