Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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