Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
