I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i love accidental penises.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
