I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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