i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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