True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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