Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
